


The Lieutenant Colonel Diaries

by Zabbers



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Fluff and Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-25 16:04:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2627750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zabbers/pseuds/Zabbers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"10 Reasons I Should Just Give Up and Let the Wraith Feed on Me, by John Sheppard"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lieutenant Colonel Diaries

10 Reasons I Should Just Give Up and Let the Wraith Feed on Me, by John Sheppard

  1. I was doing just fine in Antarctica, minding my own business flying choppers, when all of a sudden there was this alien weapon and a top secret base and a glowing chair, and then I was walking through a big giant ring with a freaky blue ripple in the middle of it into another galaxy. Where there was a 10,000-year-old sci-fi city being preserved under the ocean to hide it from its builders’ enemy.

  2. Where I died.

  3. When the timeline got reset because before I died I’d managed to fly an Ancient DeLorean back in time, the first thing I did in Atlantis was to shoot my CO and wake the Wraith. _Aliens_. Spiky elvish aliens.

  4. These Wraith, who were the very enemy that sent the Ancients scurrying back to Earth, want to eat me. (Well, me and every other human in the Pegasus Galaxy.)

  5. Several times, we have come close to having to self-destruct the city, which we raised out of the ocean and use basically like a giant life raft.

  6. The city thinks I’m its boyfriend.

  7. The person I actually want to be my boyfriend is too busy to notice me. But...at least he knows I exist. Not that it makes him treat you any better if he knows you aren’t just one of his minions. I mean, lab monkeys. I mean...science lackeys.

  8. Once, I saw dead people. I had beer and pizza with them.

  9. I may have been violated by a glowy, squidlike non-corporeal being. I’m not sure. To be fair, when I met her, she looked like a really hot girl, so I did kiss her.

  10. I just found out today I’m descended from one of those non-corporeal beings (not her). And I’m their chosen one or something.




 

At this rate, I will never become self-actualized.


End file.
